It’s All About Balance: How to Keep Your Social Life

This week’s guest blogger is Margo L. Dill.

When Tracy addressed her four fears of quitting her day job and writing full time, one of her fears was: Would she still be social? It’s a fear so many of us SAHW (stay-at-home writers) have—we’re afraid we might turn into a recluse. Let’s face it, how easy is it to stay in your pajamas all day and not take a shower for a few more?

But  never fear, you can stay at home, write, and in my case, also take care of a one-year-old daughter, and still have a social life. You just have to be careful. It is so easy to say “yes” to everything you’re asked to do, as you might be starving for human contact. When your mom calls because she wants to run to the mall and you’re not “working” so can you go with her, it’s easy to say, “Sure.” But then, are you going to reach your 2000-word goal for the day as well as finish up the guest post for your upcoming blog tour? Probably not.

So, how do you balance? Balance is the key—you have to have family, social/friend, and work time. It’s crucial. Here’s what I do:

First I look at my week as a whole with a calendar and a pen in hand. I make a note of any appointments or un-fun things (like an oil change or grocery shopping) that I have to do. Next, I look at any social things that are already scheduled—and yes, I consider my writing critique group meeting to be a social event. Although it helps my writing immensely, it is still me, socializing with friends who happen to be writers; and it takes me away from my keyboard and daughter. This category also includes family dinners (not with your immediate family, but maybe Sunday night at your parents’), church, yoga—anything where you are out and about and interacting with other people. If you don’t count these, you will never have time to write.

Once I’ve looked at appointments and any social engagements, I schedule in my writing time. This is especially important for any of you who are also staying home with young ones because your time is limited. My writing time is limited to my daughter’s naps and bedtime, and times when my parents or husband watch her. I have to schedule my writing time, so I know I’ll have time to write at least once a day and a couple large blocks each week.

What time is left now? Well, probably very little, but there will be some left. You have to eat and exercise and possibly do holiday or birthday shopping, so here’s where you invite a friend to go along. Sometimes, I’ll ask my friends with little ones to go mall walking with me or come over for a play date. I schedule a dinner here or there. I send emails to schedule dates—stay off the phone. It’s a time-sucker! 

You can do it. It just takes a little extra effort and balance. The important thing is to remember your goal—to do what you love—write!

Margo L. Dill is a children’s author, online instructor, and freelance writer and editor. She has three books under contract with the first one, a middle-grade historical fiction novel, coming out in 2012. She currently teaches online classes on blogging, social networking, and children’s writing for WOW! Women On Writing. Find out more about Margo and read her blog about using children’s books with kids here.